i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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