sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
