WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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