Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
