I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So vagazzling was a success
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
