Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
