"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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