U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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