dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My cat gives me a boner
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
