My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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