I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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