she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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