Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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