Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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