We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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