I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
