I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
