oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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