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It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish you could order shots online.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
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