Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes

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(718): View more from New York

I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running

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(518): View more from New York

The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON

(309): View more from Illinois

THE MOOOOOOOON

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.

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