hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
