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• (312): View more from Illinois

  We're like a lot better than the average bears

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• (310): View more from California

  Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.

  (310): View more from California

  I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.

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