apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently