Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
