Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
