People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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