The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
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when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
whose parrot is this?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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