Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
