Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
