i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize