I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
