We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
