I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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