Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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