AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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