You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
