So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Enjoy the penises
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
