throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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