Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
