eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
