hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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