I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
