Are we in a gay sports bar?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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