i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she peed on how many people?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
