i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
