Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
