like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
