Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
