Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
