guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize