seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
