Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
