It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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