They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm at about main and main street
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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