ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
