at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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