"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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