So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So vagazzling was a success
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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