You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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