so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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