I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
