so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
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I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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