Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
