May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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