I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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