All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
