You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
