you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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