omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
