I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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