he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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