I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
