what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
