I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
