The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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