She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
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I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
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Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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