we made out on top of his cat.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well I just put wine in my tea
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
